| > | | | | When my mother went over the dating rules with |
| If you’re familiar with the lyrics to Lady | | | | me as a young teenager, she added, And you |
| Will Power, by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap, | | | | make the decision what you’re going to do |
| you understand this woman is under some pressure. | | | | right here, sitting at the kitchen table, not in the back |
| Just what is will power? In emotional | | | | seat of a car, because then you won’t be |
| intelligence language, we would call it Intentionality. | | | | thinking. |
| Emotional intelligence means being able to understand | | | | Will power is a term that’s gone out of favor, |
| and manage emotions — yours and | | | | but we do have a will — the ability to |
| others’ — and to use them to make | | | | make decisions and hold to them. We also have the |
| decisions, solve problems, and bring about results that | | | | personal power to manage our emotions and those |
| work in your favor. | | | | of others’ under the most pressing of |
| We think with our neocortex, and our emotions are | | | | circumstances. |
| generated in our limbic and reptilian brains. Two of our | | | | Other pressure situations might be being asked to do |
| brains don’t take orders. Our brains are | | | | something illegal at work, being tempted to do |
| often in conflict with the other one; that’s the | | | | something unethical, feeling angry enough to hit |
| way life is. | | | | someone, having an opportunity for an affair, |
| Intentionality is a high-level competency because | | | | investing in the stock market, resisting drinking when |
| it’s means saying what you mean and | | | | you’re in recovery, or going to work when |
| meaning what you say. It also means being | | | | you’d rather go fishing. |
| accountable for your motives as well as your actions. | | | | Emotional intelligence includes Intentionality, and other |
| Presumably in the situation of this song, emotions are | | | | competencies such as intuition, creativity, resilience, |
| pulling one way, and better judgment is pulling | | | | impulse control and stress management. These |
| the other way, for the woman, and the man is using | | | | competencies can be learned and there are |
| intimidation tactics — it’s now or | | | | assessments to tell you where your strengths and |
| never. This is a conflict. Emotions will always pull | | | | weaknesses are. |
| more strongly than thoughts, because we need our | | | | Developing your EQ allows you to put in a floodgate |
| emotions in order to survive. Fear, for instance, | | | | when you threaten to be overcome with emotions, |
| keeps us alive. We need to know danger | | | | which is called neural hijacking. This is when |
| immediately, and react immediately. Therefore, | | | | emotions swamp you to the point where you make |
| we’re programmed to shut down the thinking | | | | decisions or do things that are harmful to yourself or |
| part of our brain and adrenalin forces us to act | | | | others. |
| without allowing thought to intervene. If we stopped | | | | EQ matters more to your success and happiness |
| in front of a speeding car that was about to hit us | | | | than IQ. Why not make it one of your goals this |
| and said, Wow! Is that the new Jetta? we | | | | year to increase your emotional intelligence? |
| would be dead. | | | | |
